Tinnitus Together: A Conversation with Caleb Scoville, LPC
Living with tinnitus can be difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it.
The sound itself may be invisible to everyone else, but its effects can reach into sleep, concentration, work, relationships and emotional well-being. And for some people, one of the hardest parts is simply feeling like no one around them truly understands what they are experiencing.
That is why Tinnitus Together exists. Tinnitus Together is Hough Ear Institute’s free support group for people living with tinnitus. The group is facilitated by Caleb Scoville, LPC, and brings together participants from Oklahoma and across the country to share experiences, resources, coping strategies and, perhaps most importantly, community.
We recently asked Caleb to tell us more about the group,what he has learned from the people who attend and what he would say to someonewho is considering joining for the first time.
For someone who has never heard of Tinnitus Together, how would you describe what the group is and what someone can expect when they attend?
Caleb: Tinnitus Together is an organized gathering where people with tinnitus come together not only to support and listen, but also to encourage and uplift one another. We gather to share coping strategies, educational resources and fellowship within the tinnitus community.
I often hear from people who are new to Tinnitus Together that they feel their concerns have not been heard by some of their providers, or that they are not understood by people who do not experience tinnitus, even those very close to them, such as family and friends. The group is a place that changes that.
The support group is a great supplement to, not are placement for, medical and audiological care in the treatment of tinnitus.
Our meetings are hybrid. Most people join us online via Zoom from around the country, but those who are local may also join me in person at Transforming Life Counseling Center in Edmond, Oklahoma, where we connect with the rest of the group through Zoom.
Come prepared to hear and benefit from the shared experiences of the group. You may learn coping skills, educational information and updates or advances within the tinnitus community.
This is a non-clinical environment made up of peer discussions, not medical diagnosis, medical advice or promises of a “cure.”
Possibly the best thing you will learn is that you are not alone. The group helps nullify the compounding effects of isolation.
The phrase “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” is a great way to describe it. The group is stronger together, and because of that, those involved can become stronger and better equipped to face tinnitus in their day-to-day lives.
Why do you think a support group like Tinnitus Together is important for people living with tinnitus?
Caleb: Tinnitus Together is important because it offers connection, support and the presence of others who have a similar path but a different journey than you. Presence is power.
Those in the group experience the power of validation, reduced isolation, reduced fear and distress, the ability to learn new and better coping skills and the development of a greater sense of control over tinnitus through relationships with trusted information and providers.
What are some things people may not realize about living with tinnitus, or about the emotional and mental-health impact it can have?
Caleb: The phrase you never know what someone is going through comes to mind.
Tinnitus is one of many invisible conditions that can have a profound impact on an individual, but there may be no external evidence of it. That can make it difficult for others to comprehend.
Tinnitus has been described as “relentless,” and it can affect many aspects of a person’s cognitive, emotional and mental well-being and, ultimately, overall quality of life.
For someone with tinnitus, that may include:
Cognitive exhaustion
Your brain may be constantly trying to tune out the sound,which can be exhausting.
Focus, memory, reading, work and conversations can allrequire extra energy. When listening becomes difficult, even simple socialmoments can feel draining.
Quiet isn’t always quiet
Silent moments can sometimes make tinnitus feel louder and harder to ignore.
Sleep may also become difficult, and broken rest can make the following day even harder.
Emotional distress
A sound you cannot control can keep your body on alert and contribute to anxiety.
It is also understandable for someone to feel discouraged when relief feels out of reach.
Some people also experience sound sensitivity, where everyday noises may feel overwhelming or even painful.
What have you seen people gain from being part of Tinnitus Together?
Caleb: In addition to support and community, people in the group have gained perspective, coping skills and strategies they may never have heard of before, much less tried. And certainly, they gain comfort.
Comfort for all the reasons we have talked about, but sometimes it can be as simple as having the awareness:
“I have group tonight.”
There is something powerful about knowing that time and that community are there for you.
What would you say to someone living with tinnitus who is hesitant to attend a support group or thinks, “I’m not sure this is for me”?
Caleb: I would say, “It makes sense to be hesitant when trying something new. I know I usually am, so I understand where you are coming from.”
Then I would encourage them to give it a try.
What do you have to lose, and consider what you could gain?
If you do not want to speak in the group, just come tolisten and see what we are about. There is no commitment and no fee.
I have facilitated various groups over the years, and one thing is typically true: almost everyone is hesitant, or at the very least anxious, before that first meeting.
The people who attend and give the group at least a few meetings often begin to see the benefits we have talked about, and many choose to stay long term.
You don’t have to explain it to people who already understand
Tinnitus Together is not about having all the answers. It is not about promising a cure, replacing medical care or telling someone there is one “right” way to live with tinnitus.
It is about having a place to show up.
A place to listen. A place to learn from people whose experiences may be different from yours but who understand something about the road you are walking. And sometimes, simply knowing that there are people waiting for you at the next meeting can make the road feel a little less lonely.
Tinnitus Together meets on the first and third Monday of each month from 6:30–7:30 p.m. Central Time. Meetings are free, and participants may join virtually from anywhere or attend in person in Edmond, Oklahoma.
Interested in joining Tinnitus Together? [Learn more.]
Hough Ear Institute’s Tinnitus Together support group is intended to provide peer support, education and community. It is not a substitute for medical or audiological evaluation, diagnosis or treatment.